If I Ever Have the Means...

"Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies" (jordanwphillips) 04/05/2016 at 06:52 • Filed to: None

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I will buy something rare and exotic, take it to Moab, film the abuse that will incur, and send the recording to Jalopnik to watch the world burn.

They are cars, they are meant to be driven. How they are driven is completely up to the person who paid for the car. If someone fords a river in a Ferrari, more power to them.

Mini rant over.

adamftw > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies 04/05/2016 at 06:54

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Moab and the area around it has some sweet paved roads though. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a pothole there.

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > adamftw 04/05/2016 at 07:13

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Hell’s Revenge.

adamftw > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies 04/05/2016 at 07:16

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I was talking about the actual paved roads, but yea. And Hell’s is pretty tame.

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > adamftw 04/05/2016 at 07:34

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Yeah, but for some older supercar of some sorts, it would be hell.

adamftw > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies 04/05/2016 at 07:51

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I don’t even think that would be fun, to be honest. You would disable the car on one of the ledges a 1/4 mile in.

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > adamftw 04/05/2016 at 07:57

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Remove the bumpers. I’m thinking 993 or 964 Turbo would be the best bet for survival.

CB > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies 04/05/2016 at 08:13

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Roll an LM002 into a ravine. Call it a total loss. Set it on fire.

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies 04/05/2016 at 09:33

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If you want to cause a shitstorm, just set a Saab convertible alight.

And you clearly have not seen that Moab Crown Vic video.

Eric @ opposite-lock.com > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies 04/05/2016 at 10:02

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Why? If I had the money, I'd just buy a Raptor or one of those 6x6 Mercedes G-wagens and get videos of the awesome crawling carnage.

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > Eric @ opposite-lock.com 04/05/2016 at 10:04

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Because I beating the shit out of things not meant to be is more fun.

Eric @ opposite-lock.com > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies 04/05/2016 at 10:15

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Having gone on trips to Moab many times... Good luck. I did some off-roading in a B-body with entertaining results, but that car had ground clearance that would make a modern CUV cry. And I didn’t go on anything too gnarly because I simply wouldn’t have made it (I also once went a fair distance on the Rubicon trail in a Malibu.). Considering the trails there, I’d want to drive something that could actually take me somewhere interesting.

Now, Anza Borrego in a super car would probably work. Most of those trails are practically highways... Even some trails in the Mojave would potentially be passable.

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 04/05/2016 at 11:24

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That is what gave me the idea for Moab.